On the ledge

It feels like standing on the ledge
Looking down
Twenty steep stories ahead
A darkness envelops halfway
and you can’t look past it
The harder you try to look
the more clouds blur the view
Sometimes you manage to find yourself taking a step back|
a few inches away from the ledge
Sometimes even so far back
the ledge is nothing but a vague line in the far distance
But other days it just comes closer and closer
and there is this fear
A fear of being able to look over the ledge again
and noticing the dark ahead
Noticing the nothingness of it
And knowing, that in that moment, it will feel like there is nothing left to fight for
So you shift your feet, balancing on the ledge one moment
Far from it the next
A constant dance between knowing what’s ahead and a memory so distant, the feeling is nothing but one of the millions of fibres creating the blanket that is your skin
You keep up this battle
But can’t help but wonder

Will this battle ever be won?